Have a nice day.

have a nice day
At the checkout queue in Morrisons. Old dude behind me keeps bumping and shoving into me in an effort to make me move forward but as there is a lady in front of me, I have nowhere to go.

Old dude is now getting tetchy as his frozen pilchards or whatever are melting, he continues to bump into me and starts tutting. So I take a nice step backwards as I’m not yet feeling the urge to turn around and clobber him with my thick sliced farmhouse.

Me being the manners queen is waiting for an “excuse me”, I do not hear an “excuse me” but I get more bumping and now vegetables are being passive aggressively thrown onto the conveyor belt along with his frozen pilchards and fixodent.

His wife is there too (or maybe his mistress, I won’t digress).

Nice lady cashier takes payment off lady in front of me and starts to help me with my shopping.

Old dude is now a funny shade of purple and is hopping from one foot to the other while throwing Mr Kipling mini battenburgs and garibaldi biscuits into his frozen pilchards conveyor belt collection. Wife/ mistress anxiously clutches her copy of Radio Times and a box of tic tacs (fruity flavour ones).

Cashier tells me that her daughter is being bullied so I listen and I tell her my experience of bullying taking as long as I possibly can and drawing on every minute detail I can remember, for as long as I can while watching Old dude’s eyeballs do strange twitchy things.

By the time I’ve packed and paid he completely erupts spectacularly. (due to the melting pilchards situation I’m presuming).

I may have had a little word with security on the way out about the aggressive man in aisle 10 towards a member of staff. 🙂

Have a nice day.

Posted on March 15, 2018, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Perfect reaction, although I have to confess I would never have been able to maintain such composure and would instead resort to a loud “DO YOU MIND?” (wouldn’t be the first time)


  2. He has no idea of who he was messing with. Lucky escape Old Dude, lucky escape

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Why is everyone in such a hurry these days! When the cashier apologises to me for the wait I always say it’s okay I’m not in a hurry.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Rosemary Groves

    Love this & I would have done exactly the same so good for you!! xxxx

    Get Outlook for A ndroid


    Liked by 1 person

  5. If we was bumping into you that’s common assault. If we was bumping into your backside it could even be construed as a sexual thing. I would have gone straight to customer services, pointed the old bugger out, and had them call the police.

    I’m asking myself how he treats that wife of his at home. I wonder how many other times he has got away with behaviour like that.


    Your constraint was admirable, on the other hand.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You handled that well.


  7. You handled that well.

    Liked by 1 person

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