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Brought Arnie’s ashes home today. We’re going to buy a plant and put him in the garden where he liked to sit in the sun and watch the sparrows chirp.
Spring is coming.
home coming


Arnie passed away yesterday, we’re in bits. Cat shaped hole in my heart.
Sleep well my furry friend, I love you.
We love you so much.

RIP Butter.

Evie discovered Butter’s body on Sunday morning. She was outside and showed no sign of attack, she’d even laid her egg. Only just a year old too. Poor Evie was really upset (and it was one of the females we’d hatched out last year).
She’ll be missed.
rip butter

The hardest words.

Myles’ dad died tragically last Thursday night. It is out of respect that I haven’t posted for a few days as we are grieving terribly and it is a very hard time for us as a family.
Telling them was incredibly hard.

A cup of tea.

I learnt of the suicide of a beautiful mum I knew, (as an online friend) today. She left three young children behind in the world.
Life was too much.
It’s hit me hard as I’ve felt those dark thoughts too, I know a lot of mums do.
I’ve been drinking a lot of tea today and wallowing in past memories.
How do you pull yourself back from such a dark tunnel?
Small, heavy steps at first, find something to hold on to, anything.
I started this blog to pull myself out of depression, something to do as they say, something to focus on.
It feels like a bloody big mountain to climb when you’re at the bottom.

Sleep tight beautiful sister. Rest in peace.
tea for two

Somewhere quiet.

Sometimes you need to be somewhere quiet. Today I had to take myself somewhere where I could remember, cry, have the wound ripped off for a few hours and allow the memories to haunt me. I don’t know how other peope remember the day they lost a parent or a loved one but I find it’s easier to be alone for a bit(with dog).
Back to the business of Christmas tomorrow.
somewhere quiet

Christmas past.

Every year I tell myself I’ll do a post about Christmas, about my mum and how she died a few days before Christmas.
Every year the date comes and goes and I don’t draw anything.
Because I can’t draw anything remotely near how it feels.
christmas cards


Rest in Peace Tim.

The Mummy.

It was a relative’s funeral today and Evie was full of her usual questions…

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